Alright ladies, we have all been there. You know – walking the streets of loneliness, feeling like we are ready for more, running a spreadsheet of qualifications – looking for a man. We've spent countless hours summing up what we can take, what we can deal with, lists and lists of characteristics that "the one" must or will have, only to find, "Mr. Commitment Phobic", "Mr. Needs a Mama, not a Wife", "Mr. I'm Married" (to another woman, to his career, to his children) [*yes, I said children...some men hide behind their kids as an excuse not to commit], "Mr. I Look Too Good for One Woman". The lists of these fellas goes on and on. So what is the problem? Why can't we find that guy we dream of?
First, we have to realize that we are on the wrong path. Yes, we are liberated, vibrant, women, living in an age where we go out and "get what we want". The world is our oyster, so why is it that we keep coming home with crabs? Where did we go wrong? The journey begins from within.
There are no steps that we should take on the path of seeking a man. "He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord, Proverbs 18:22" [Emphasis added]. See, we are not meant to be the seekers. We are treasures – waiting – to be found, to be discovered, for eyes to open. We spend so much time trying to make a perfect 6 out of Mr. Wrong; that we have no time to make ourselves ready for the type of commitment we seek. Your perfect 10 is out there, but he is waiting for you to blossom before his eyes, and radiate your beauty that runs deep – from the inside out! We've got to start loving ourselves, honoring our God, readying our lives with purpose and self worth before we can have, and keep, the love that is out there for us.
This is no task for the weak at heart or for the non-diligent mind. You have to be deliberate in your walk and steady on your path. You will step into pitfall after pitfall relationship until you get your house in order. How will you ever get a man who thinks you are worthwhile when you don't believe that yourself? Resolve your issues, right your relationships with your parents and families, clean up your finances, join that group you've always wanted to join, take care of that health issue, go to or back to school, attend and join a church – learn to love, respect, care for and value yourself. Then in the midst of your busy schedule of activities, prayer meetings and work, Mr. Right will find you.
He will do the work and make strides in seeking you out. There will be no hard labor on your part. You won't have to track him down and stalk his Facebook page. He will do what is right, because you are right for him – and he knows it! "What God has joined together, let no man put asunder (pull apart), Mark 10:9". Not only will you feel loved; you will know true love, because first, you loved yourself enough to know what real love feels like.
So now, are you looking for a man? I'm not...I beg to differ. I am patiently waiting for him to discover ME.
TGBTG! (To God Be The Glory) ~TQ
©2011 by Turquoise C.A. Hayes
P.S. - We will talk about "Waiting" soon!
2 comments:
I agree to many times were arw focused on "what's wrong with our men today" that we forget to take a look at ourselves. We forget that change can only come from within. Great blog!
Thank you for commenting! I am happy that you enjoyed this post. And that is so true, we like to badger the men without looking within. (Lord, fix me from the inside out!)
Post a Comment